After every storm
by SuchUsername
Summary: AU/OOC, Spiritshipping. Jaden is a teenage boy with a sad youth; with only one friend and a family he feels alienated from. When times appear to be at their darkest, he meets certain people and things start to look bright for the first time in his life. Will this brightness last? Or is he unable to escape his past? Jaden's POV. Note: I don't own Yu-gi-oh Gx or its characters.
1. Welcome to my world of truth

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh Gx nor its characters.

This is my first fanfiction, my first story, ever so please bare with me and I hope you'll like it.

This is just the introduction so it's not very long, the next chapters will be!

Introduction: Welcome to my world of truth.

Do you ever feel as if you don't belong in this world? As if there is absolutely no purpose to your existence? As if it would make no difference whether you were present or not?

Well, I do.

Ever since I was a little kid, I've always felt like an outcast. Someone who doesn't have the ability to touch anyone's life. Sometimes I even wonder if I mean anything to my own family. They claim I do, but words can only say half of what an emotion is worth. And to my own sadness I cannot remember the last time I have been shown a sign of caring, a sign of affection.. A reason to be alive.

People act nice to me when they are obliged to do so, but when that obligation turns into nothing but a mere choice, there has yet to be someone to voluntarily decide to be kind to me. No one has chosen to stay by my side. Even though this is how I've been feeling my entire life, I have never ceased with being kind towards others. My mind goes wondering from time to time: "Am I nice to these people for my own selfish desires to be loved or accepted?", or do I do it because that's just who I am, because the kindness is simply part of my character? But then, who am I?

I would say my name, but is there more to me than a name? Is there more to me than just being the person that happens to be there? I have one friend. His name is Syrus Truesdale. He is the only person in this world capable of making me smile. He is the only one that can make me laugh. However.. that's where it ends. I have no siblings and the bond with my parents isn't exactly one to be proud of. I mean, my parents are kind to me and do what parents are supposed to do but that's that. The pattern of obligated kindness continues.

Me? I'm Jaden Yuki.

I'm the kind brunet that would place anyone's happiness over my own interests. And by anyone, I mean anyone. I am currently in my last year of high school and study together with my blue-haired best –and only- friend Syrus. I still have to figure out a way to get through high school, but I am determined to find something better when this chapter of my life is finished. All I have to do, all I cán do, is wait and persevere.


	2. Do I matter?

Chapter 1: Do I matter?

Ah, first day of high school. Just like the past five years, a day I don't like. I have never liked going to school for a lot of different reasons. I consider myself a happy and upbeat person, but something inside me is always reluctant to show that side of me when I'm at school. Why? I honestly don't think I can provide an answer to that question. Maybe I am afraid of judgement? But that doesn't make any sense because people will always judge me no matter what I do. I know this. I realise this every day, again and again. Yet, being myself is not an option. Or at least I think so, maybe the person I am acting like in high school is the real me, maybe I ám being myself..

No. That just can't be it, I know there is more to me than what everyone at high school sees. Or should I say, what everyone who knows me sees. For I behave the same way whilst sitting in class as I do when I'm visiting my family. So maybe it's not just the first day of high school I don't like. The only times I remember me being able to really be myself is when I'm with Syrus, however, I still fear judgement. How can I live like this?

How could anyone live like this? Living in constant fear of judgement, even when I'm around my family. Or worse, my best friend. I'm not sure if I can withstand these thoughts for much longer.

"NO! This year will be different!" is what I'm constantly replaying in my head as I walk towards the busstop. I will prove to everyone that I am more than the kid who sits in the background and only speaks when he's asked something -and even then does it with a trembling voice-. I will show everyone just how happy, upbeat and funny I can be! And if they don't like it, and they want to judge me then they can. At least then I'll know I am capable of being myself around them even if they decide to mock me. I consider that a sign of strenght, being able to remain yourself even when others try to tear you down. A lot of people consider that as normal, but I know better. It's not something everyone can do. I for one can't.

I finally reach the busstop and look around in search for that one familiar face to brighten up my day. So far, no luck. Me and Syrus texted each other yesterday evening to decide we'd meet each other here today to relive old times and take the bus together. I put my iPhone on shuffle and keep on waiting for my friend. After singing along to Ignorance by Paramore –in my mind of course- the first bus arrives. I am not sure what to do at this point. Should I take it? Or should I keep waiting for Syrus? I know he would do the same for me if I was running late. It's 8:15 at the moment and school starts at 9:00. I am about 15 minutes away from my high school –by bus- so at this point it wouldn't hurt to wait for the next one. Plus there's a bus every 10 minutes so I decide to wait until the last minute and if he's not here by 8:45, then I'm sorry Sy but I'll have to go.

Everything seems to pass me by, the minutes on the clock, the people on the streets –about whom my sonders are, in an attempt to escape from my reality-, the cars on the road, the songs on my iPhone. Everything moves along, except me. I stand here waiting, waiting in vain for my friend to appear. When the 8:45 bus arrives I have no other choice than to take it. So after some moments of dawdling, still looking around in hopes of seeing Syrus running towards the bus, I get on it, pay for the ride, and head for the first seat I can find. Obviously I don't like buses, they are always crowded with people I don't know and I'm pretty sure they all look at me and judge me. Starting to talk about me when I enter the door but they won't stop when I exit, we all know that. Due to the busy roads and a small traffic jam every here and there I arrive at school at 9:06, well, at the busstop across the school. Having to look for somewhat of a sign as to what classroom I have to head for –since it changes every year- I arrive at 9:14. What a great way to start this year, arriving late. Well hey, that's what I do best. As I enter the classroom I can once again feel all eyes on me. And to my big surprise there was one pair of eyes I did not expect to see, at all. They were Syrus' eyes. He looked at me as I entered the door in a rush, and all he did was smile.

I hadn't seen him for over two months. Me and Syrus barely see each other during summer vacation, I don't really know the reason why, but he never has time to meet me. I always have to be the one to put forward an idea of what we can do, but he almost never takes up on my offers. And to my great displeasure he never suggests anything himself either. And now, after not having heard from him for over two months prior to yesterday, he decided to just smile at me when I got in. Did he forget we agreed to meeting at the busstop? Or did he just avoid me on purpose? I let those questions mingle with my shame for arriving late on the first day and explain to my new teacher why I am late. "There was no bus." I mumble under my breath, knowing that I'm lying. Conviced that if I tell her the real reason she –and my new classmates- will laugh at me for depending that much on my friend. Maybe they won't be all that wrong though. Maybe I do depend too much on Syrus? I mean, I'm in my final year of high school, I'm 16, and I am late because I was waiting for my friend so we could take the bus together. But in the end, we did promise each other we'd meet at the busstop. And I'm not one to break my promises.

The teacher finished her self-explanatory first class of the year when the bell started to ring indicating the start of the break. My classmates collectively reach for their jackets and start to walk out while I'm still lingering around waiting for Syrus to get to me. As he gets closer I start preparing my first sentence in my head. I am so angry at this point and it seems as if he doesn't even have a single care in the world.

"Hey Jay!" he says.

"'_Hey Jay'? Are you serious Syrus?" _

"_What's the matter? Didn't you miss me?"_

"_Yes Syrus, yes I missed you. I missed you at the busstop this morning where we were gonna meet remember?"_

"_Yea but my mom decided to take me to school instead, sorry."_

"_Oh, well, thanks for letting me know, I must have missed your call this morning then. You know, I'm late because of you. I stood there waiting like a fool for half an hour."_

"_What's the big deal? Don't make such a drama."_

"_I'm not making a drama! You're supposed to be my friend! Do you even care about me AT ALL?!"_

-I don't want to think of the answer to that question.. So this is where the conversation I had going on in my head comes to an end-

I smiled, "Hey Sy! I missed ya!"

Syrus chuckled, "First day of school, and you're already coming late, eh?"

So many thoughts crossed my mind, but I couldn't say what I felt like saying, because I realised that if I argued with Syrus now, I'd lose my only friend. And I don't think I'm capable of getting through high school without someone to hold on to, even if that someone isn't remotely as good of a friend as I am.

"Yep! You know me! Always fashionably late!" I exclaimed with a laugh.

He let out a small laugh before continuing, "So, how was your summer?"

I honestly didn't feel like talking about my summer considering I did absolutely nothing for the third year in a row. (Prior to that I used to spend my summers with the friends from my neighbourhood, but as we got older -and I came to realise they were all just pretending to like me- we grew apart)

"It was Ok," I lied. "but how did you get here?" I asked, because I had to know why he ditched me.

He hesitated a little before answering, "Well, I couldn't get up this morning so my mom decided to bring me to school after I had finished breakfast."

"Ah, I thought so. Btw, was that really Chazz sitting in our class just now?" I ask with a slight tone of desperation in my voice.

Chazz is one of those guys that find pleasure in bullying innocent students, including Syrus. He has long spiked black hair and always has a look on his face as if he owns the place.

Fortunately there has never been a real incident between him and me save for the few times I pushed my fear aside and stood up for Syrus when he was in need of his friend, but something tells me this year will be different.

Syrus joined me in my desperation, "Yea, I know.. I'm not so thrilled about that either, I just hope he finds someone else to pick on this year!" His grey eyes started to show some tears, but he quickly shut them hoping that I wouldn't notice. But of course I would notice since he has to take his small round glasses off in order to really get rid of the tears.

I shook my head, "I hope he stops bullying altogether."

He closed his eyes and leaned back a bit, "Vain wishes Jay," he opened his eyes, exhaled and looked at me, "you know how Chazz is.."

The bell rang and everyone was heading for their respective classroom. Before I knew it, the second part of the morning classes came to an end and we could all go home. Maybe the first day of school isn't all that bad after all.

When I got home, my mom asked me the most generic question a parent can ask their kid when they return from school, "How was your day?"

I didn't feel like telling her what happened with Syrus so I skipped that and immediately told her about me and Sy having the same classes as Chazz, much to her disliking for she knew how he was.

I soothed her, "Don't worry mom, it's just one more year, then I'll be rid of him. Besides, he never targeted me for his shenanigans so I don't see why he would start this year."

She closed her eyes and inhaled, I knew she wanted to say something, but then she opened her eyes, exhaled through her nose and pouted her lips into a halfsmile. -That kind of smile you do when you don't really want to smile but you feel an urge to comfort someone-.

"You're probably right. Now go get your father and tell him dinner's ready."

I smiled back at her and grabbed her hand, "Really, mom, don't worry."

And as I went to get dad I knew why my mom didn't say what she wanted to. She must be thinking the same thing I am. You see, throughout the summer I developed, I became more of a person than I was before, what exactly triggered my development I don't know, but I do know it happened. I came to the realization that I, as a male, am attracted to other males.

I have not yet told my mom, or dad, or anyone for that matter, but mothers have this special ability to sense what their son is going through. So by the looks of it –judging her silence earlier today- she must know of it, which explains her worrying. Gay guys are a very easy target for bullies, especially when said guys are still struggling with it themselves.

I have a bad feeling about this year but I'm convinced that I'll find a way through any obstacles Chazz, or others, may put in my way! With that thought I finished my first day as a high school senior.

Two months have passed and I have been made fun of since day two. Wherever I pass painful words follow me. 'Fag!', 'Gay!', 'Queer!' People call me that on a daily basis and I wonder if they even understand the gravity of some of the other things they say. They may be numb to what they are saying, but I know I am not. And I never will be.

When I lie awake at night, selfdestructive thoughts enter my mind. But, I didn't come up with these all on my own, people who barely know me help me construct them. They are the ones putting my mind into motion, they are ones telling me I'm not worth anything, they are the ones telling me.. to kill myself.

I can only fight them for so long, and I can no longer count on my best friend to have my back because he's in an alliance with the enemy party. I have been hurt a lot of times by my classmates, I had pens thrown at my head, I have been pushed over during recreation countless times, I had been insulted more than once a day.. but that one day.. is a day I'll never be able to forget.

-3 weeks earlier-

"Okay class! It's time to head out for our trip!" Miss. Mores -my teacher- yelled in excitement.

I yawned, "7.30 in the morning is waaaaay too early for Mores' excitement"

I always refer to my teacher as Mores instead of Miss due to her lack of teaching skills. The way she looks, no one expected her to be kind of a failure as a teacher. She wears small white glasses and always pins her decent long blond hair up, and if that's not enough I'm conviced all she has in her wardrobe are slit skirts and formal jackets.

Syrus exhaled, "I know right, I just want to go back to bed."

The destination of our trip is a scientific museum, well, it's not really a museum. It's more like a center in which you can find anything that has to do with the elements. I'm really excited about this trip, I've always had a fascination with the elements (maybe that's the reason I always opt for the Elemental Heroes in my favorite game, Duel Monsters).

I smiled, "I'm actually quite excited about this trip. Learning about the elements just can't be boring!"

Sy shook his head, "I really don't get why you're so obsessed with the elements, Jay."

Really? That's the word he uses? Obsessed?

"I'm not obsessed Sy, I'm interested, learn the difference."

He looked at me baffled, "Fine."

Did I say something wrong? The entire trainride I tried to talk to my best friend, but not once did he bother to even do as much as to look up. So eventually I gave up, he can be so childish at times.

Annoyed, I said: "Fine, be that way, why do you always have to be so damn childish?"

I plugged my earphones in my iPhone and started listening to my music on shuffle, I always do this when I just want to be alone and relax.

After having heard Suffocated by Orianthi, we arrived at the Science Center.

"Okay people, we're here! At the entrance they will hand you the papers you'll have to fill in today. You will be able to find the answer to every single question inside, of course they're not all going to be in the same place. So find a partner and get going!", Mores explained.

Of course, a partner. Normally I'd be glad that it's 'a' partner and not 'partners' -because me and Sy would always end up alone and believe me, that stings- but today I wasn't happy with having to work together with Syrus. I'd rather keep my music on all day as I pace through the center in search for my answers –and some fun of course-.

"I assume it'll be us together as usual, eh." I said with a little reluctance

He looked straight ahead and exited the train, "So it seems."

I followed him to the entrance of the giant –and impressive- building where we got our bundle, we each took out a pen and headed towards the first element, air.

"I've heard they have a tornado-simulator somewhere around here! Wanna go check it out?" I asked in excitement.

He looked at me, "Jay, we're here to find the answers to these questions, so let's just focus on that, okay? We're not here to have fun."

My excitement -and my smile- got crushed, "Geez, what's the matter with you? You used to be so much more fun, Sy."

He merely shook his head to my remark.

"Ok, I get it."

After some hours of awkward silence, save for the answers to the questions we simply had to discuss, it was time to head back home. This should have been the most fun day of my existence, but it's turning out the complete opposite.

I noticed Chazz and his partner were approaching me and Syrus half an hour before we had to hand in the papers.

"Hey Gayden," his smirk told me what he was up to, "I assume you have all the answers, you wouldn't mind if me and my bud here copy them, would ya?"

I sighed, "Hey Chazz, you should do something about that speech disorder you have. And I'm not giving you the answers, you've had time enough to find them yourself."

For once in my life I was brave enough to stand up to Chazz. Brave enough to defend myself.

He shook his head, "I think you misunderstood Gayden. You are giving me the answers. Unless you want to see someone get hurt." His eyes fell on Syrus.

I stood in front of Syrus, "You don't scare me, Chazz."

He chuckled, "That's a shame."

Before I could even open my mouth to form a reply he had already punched me in the face. He hit me hard enough for it to hurt, but not hard enough it would show.

He smirked, "Changed your mind yet?"

His buddy then continued the beating and kicked me so hard in my stomach the only thing I could do was fall to the ground embracing my stomach in sheer agony –dropping the papers doing so-.

Chazz then stepped forward, all I could see were his legs, and he took all of our answers.

Syrus just stood there, in silence. Is that what I get for always standing up for him?

Chazz snapped at Syrus as he threw our hours of searching around in the air, "Anything to say, plastic bag?"

To which Syrus just shook his head.

I understand that he's too afraid to fight Chazz himself but he didn't even bother to pick up the pieces of paper scattered around the floor. If it were Syrus lying down in pain I would've jumped on Chazz myself no matter the risk I'd be taking! That's what I do, that's what friends do! They have each others' back no matter the consequences! I guess Syrus just doesn't see me as much of a friend as I do him..

"You shouldn't have done that Jay, you know how sensitive Chazz is about his speech disorder." Syrus said.

What. I wanted to scream so many things at him, how dare he say I'm the one who's in the wrong here! How dare he stand up for Chazz! CHAZZ! I'm the one who has just been beat down to the point where I can't even properly stand up without assistance yet Í made a mistake?

Syrus finally started collecting the pieces of paper. Once he had them all he continued his lecture as he tried to lift me from the floor.

"They're just answers to some dumb questions, you shouldn't have made such a big deal about it."

So, when I wanted to have some fun he declined anything I proposed because he only cared for his score, and now all of the sudden they're just 'some dumb questions'? What's that all about? And does he really not get that this is about so much more than just some answers? Does he not understand what the answers represent? Does he not know me at all? Isn't a best friend supposed to comfort their recently beaten down friend instead of siding with the enemy? Or somewhat applaud their friend for finally being able to stand up to their bully –even if it can be considered as somewhat foolish-? I feel like I don't know Syrus anymore, and neither does he. He has no idea who I am, he has no idea what I'm going through, he is such an apathic human being I rather be alone than with him.

"Just go Syrus," I cried.

3 weeks later-

I have never told anyone what went down in the Science Center. Sometimes I think I deserved that beating, I deserved Syrus abandoning me. At least he is happy now, he is now accepted as a human being and no longer one of the two outcasts in our school. I'm glad one of us was able to escape this nightmare, and if my abandonment was necessary for Syrus to be happy at school then it was well worth it. But what went down is something I'll never be able to forget. The look of carelessness on Syrus' face when he left me on the floor suffering is burned in my memory. As are the feelings of sheer shame, desperation and loneliness. For starting now I am completely alone. Just as I had predicted that day at the busstop.. this year is indeed different.


	3. A grey Christmas

Chapter 2: A grey Christmas

December. A month everyone looks forward to, even I do from time to time. A lot of things happen in december, a lot of festivities take place and I am not the kind of person to say no to them. A lot of things have happened these past few months and I need to get them out of my head –and how do I do that? By thinking about them first. I tend to collect all negativity present in my mind and once I've reeled off every thought in my little anthology I can let go of the negative energy-. I lost the only friend I ever had because he'd rather be accepted by his former bullies than to defend me, his friend. It still hurts me when I think about it, but I've moved on. Every schoolday is the exact same for me now. I get up, I walk to the busstation on my own and secretly hope Syrus won't be there because I do not like awkward situations with someone who was once the most important person in my life –and if he ís there I pretend to not see him and carry on listening to my music-, I take the bus, I arrive at school, people mock me. They mock me when I enter the building, they mock me when I take my books out of my locker, they mock me when I enter the classroom.. Yet, I'm almost always impervious to what they say. I never expected this to happen because I had always feared that their mockeries would hurt me forever but listening to music all the time really helps me calm my spirit, plus it allows me to avoid their insults. However, not everything can be avoided. Small utterances hurt me a lot more than things some would consider inhuman. Being pushed down and laughed at doesn't hurt me anymore because I've gotten so numb to that feeling of inferiority but a mere look can often be enough to devastate me from the inside out.

During lunchtime you won't find me hanging out in the cafeteria my school provides for its students, which could really use some renovations in my humble opinion. Instead, I always go to my usual patch of grass somewhere far away from the busy intersections, and most importantly, far away from the other students. When I'm eating my lunch I don't even want to catch a glimpse of the prison adults dare call school –Adults always tell me high school was the time of their lives, am I missing something?-. Once I've reached my special destination I sit down and I just breathe, in.. and out. And in, and out. It's heartbreaking to realise that it took a beating and an abandonment to really appreciate the worth and beauty of nature, which we're all uncontrollably surrounded by. We are all confronted by nature on a daily basis but not once do we just look at it, breathe, and let it all in. Every blade of grass, gorgeously painted by the dewdrops, every leaf that was taken away from its foliage by a gentle breeze, every rock on the road that remains unburdened until it becomes a substitute for a football. We are all so caught up in our own minds that we fail to embrace what is given to us and shamelessly pass it without giving it as much as a glance.

After lunchtime my perseverance lets me survive yet another afternoon filled with classes that don't really make a difference to anyone's life –maybe they should teach us more about contemporary regional political issues instead of Spain's dictatorial regime from half a century ago, or how to decently work with a calculator instead of forcing us to do every small calculation with our head whilst telling us how they didn't have a calculator either in the 'good ol' times'-. But before I know it classes are over and I'm on my way home only to answer my mom's 'How was your day?'. She always asks me this but doesn't really bother to listen to my answer so most of the times I use my generic 'good.' and leave it at that. My dad is either watching television without a care in the world or working outside as if his life depends on it. I find it rather amusing how it's one maxim to the other, my dad has no _'inbetween' _button.

When my mom informs me that dinner is ready I know she's indirectly telling me to go get dad, so I get off my wooden chair –my mom is really into old and vintage furniture- and proceed to get dad. Dinner is always quiet save for the voices emitted by the television. I'm glad I am allowed to watch tv during dinner these days (which I wasn't in my younger years) for I could hear everyone wolfing down their food in such an ecstatic way, as if they hadn't eaten in months, which made it fairly easy for me to lose my appetite. After dinner I make my homework, take a shower and go to bed. Showers are my favorite part of the day, I never really liked taking a bath because the mere idea of sitting in a tub filled with water that's been mingled with your sweat and filth was repulsive to me. My daily showering-ritual really helps me improve my voice as I always sing my lungs out when I'm taking a shower. I'm not afraid to annoy my parents because our walls are thick enough to block excessive noise, plus, I'm not too shabby a singer –so I've been told by my family, I'll need more objective opinions about it before I can really pin down my singing capacities though-. Before I go to sleep it is necessary for me to play at least one duel of Duel Monsters on my portable game console of choice, in which I opt for the Elemental Hero Deck –hoping someday they will be my real heroes and come save me from my misery-. After all that is done, I try to go to sleep but my mind is always riddled with negative thoughts I postponed throughout the course of the day. It's common for me to lie awake for a couple of hours before I manage to drift into a state of full unconsciousness.

It's the first day of december and I'm still capable of sitting outside during lunch break.

I've come to appreciate every little thing that crosses my path nowadays, except humans –but then again, humans aren't little things-. So as I'm sitting down in silence eating my sandwich, which consists of the exact same amount of ingredients each time, I feel as if the elements are trying to speak to me. As if they tell me I'm not alone just by changing from windstill to a slight breeze as to make my brown bangs point at countless different directions. It's a weird feeling but I could get used to it. I plugged in my headphones and, like always, started listening to music. The first song that started playing was Electric Shock by F(x) –which is a Korean pop girl group- and immediately following one of my favorite Korean songs was You'll Find A Way by Santigold –I had heard that song on one of the audition episodes of So You Think You Can Dance and been hooked to it ever since-. Sometimes I think my iPhone is trying to give me subtle hints as well but then I realise it's an inanimate object and incapable of doing such things, but it's a nice thought to add to my already busy mind. 12:45.. It's about time to start heading back to school, school doesn't start until 13:00 but I have quite a way to walk back so I better leave early enough.

I am not going to bore you with anything that was being said in any of my classes, so I'll skip through all of that and head straight to 16:00 –that's when school's finished-. I'm prepared to answer my mom's question once I enter my house, but.. something's different. I get to the kitchen and my mom isn't there, What could be wrong?

"Mom?" I asked softly.

"We're here sweetie" I hear my mom answer from the living room. This is weird, 'What's going on?' I wonder. I lay my headphones on the counter before heading towards the living room. Once I enter I can see my parents sitting on the couch, but they're not alone. Who is this woman? I'm sure I've never seen her face before so she can't be one of our neighbours on her stroll through the neighborhood. She had a serious and firm expression on her face, was wearing a dark blue outfit with black high heels and her dark hair in a pixie cut. She also seemed to be carrying some kinds of forms around. I wonder what those are used for.

"What's going on?" I asked, "And who is this?"

"Sweetie, your father and I are worried about you." My mom said with a slight look of desperation on her face.

I paused for a while, "W..worried?"

My mom wanted to say something but she got cut off by the other lady, "Jaden," she said as she stood up and came closer to me, "I am Rebecca Marshall and I'm a youth psychologist. Now, don't get upset but your parents ar.."

I couldn't believe it, "A psychologist?" I gave my mom a blaming look, "Really mom?"

The psychologist put her hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me, "Jaden, your mom w.."

I shook her arm off –I was in no need of her comfort-, "I'm talking to my mom."

My mom looked at me, those big blue eyes started to tear up, "Jaden, you've been extremely quiet the past 3 months.. You don't tell us anything about school, about Syrus or Chazz,"

I couldn't stand hearing those names, after all they had done to me, "So you just decided to call a psychologist? You could've tálked to me first you know?!", I started crying softly but I fought hard to hold the tears back.

My dad decided to enter the triangle conversation and quietly said "We tried, son. But you are too reluctant to release any information."

I looked at him surprised, "Release information? Dad, I'm your son! And when exactly have you," I gave both my parents a quick glance, "any of you, ever tried to talk to me! And I'm not referring to our after school conversations 'cause that's not even talking! You both know how little you cared about me when I was actually going through the hardest time of my life! Otherwise you would nót have waited until today to start worrying about me! Well, guess what you're too late now, no one can help me!"

I was shaking as if it was –10° C and I was unable to fight my tears any longer.

Both my parents just sat there, startled by my vehemence. "Jaden.." my mom whimpered.

The psychologist started talking again, much to my displeasure, "It's normal for a teen that's going through a hard emotional time to blame others for their own inability to talk about his or her feelings."

Was she right? Am I just blatantly blaming my parents when I'm the one who denied them access to my thoughts.. Maybe when I told my mom to not worry about me she took it too literal.. No. If they had really wanted to talk to me –if they had really been worried about me- they would've just made me sit down and confess every little thing occupying my mind. I can't stand being here anymore, listening to this woman talking about me as if she has any clue who I am. I have to get away from her.

I stopped looking at my parents and focused on the psychologist, "I don't need you to tell me what is or isn't normal, lady. You don't know me! You have NO idea what I've been going through, and you never will!", tears poured out of my eyes, I turned my back to her and both of my parents and left the living room.

My mom got up and in a desperate attempt to keep me from going away and yelled, "JADEN! Where are you going?!"

"NOWHERE!" I yelled as I grabbed both my coat and backpack and left the house.

I run.

I didn't want to leave my house, nor do I really want to run away from home but for the time being I had to get out. Never before in my life have I shaken as much as I have today, I've been running for 10 minutes straight and I'm still shaking like a leaf. My vision is blurred due to the amount of tears in my eyes but it makes no difference because I don't even know where I'm headed towards myself. I suddenly have to stop running because I'm getting dizzy and I am not planning on collapsing due to a lack of oxygen. I start to breathe heavily through my crying and rest my hands on my upperlegs as I just stare at the ground. After a minute of absentminded breathing I notice something strange, it had started to snow -or maybe it had been snowing for a while and I was just too stuck in my own mind to notice-.

I have to wipe away my tears in order to get a good look of my environment. It's beautiful. Cars, trees, bushes, streets, all covered in a white veil of pure tranquility. Every muscle inside of me relaxes, every thought in my mind is put to rest and all I can do is appreciate the beauty of the colorless. I spot the entrance to a forest and decide to head in that direction for there is nothing more calming than strolling through a forest covered in a layer of white. To my own surprise I have not yet turned on my music so I put my hand in my pocket to get my earplugs but then I realise, 'OH NO! I've left them on the counter! Damned!'. And I can't listen to music without them because a while ago I had the genius idea to throw my phone on my bed, which made it bounce off and fall onto the floor causing the speakers inside of it to break. Just my luck. But instead of being upset about not being able to listen to music, I decide to sing myself –I don't expect anyone else to be in this forest anyway-.

An hour has passed and suddenly a soft voice speaks to me, "Excuse me?"

I turn around with a puzzled look on my face and this is when I see her for the first time.(The cause of my better life, the reason I'm still alive.)

A really pretty –yet small- girl stands in front of me. She has gorgeous long dark blue hair, chocolate brown eyes and a smile that pierces right through my body. I'm a little thrown off by her sudden appearance so I don't really know what to say, "Uuhm, yea?"

She chuckles, "Was it you whom I have just heard singing in that angelic voice?"

I look at her with big eyes, I'm even more baffled than I already was, "A..angelic? I wouldn't know about that.."

She touches my arm and smiles, "Oh come on, you don't have to be so humble about it. You have a really, and I mean réally nice voice young man."

My cheeks start to get so red I swear I must look like Dark Magician Girl –but then in a more male and less attractive manner-, "Thank you, but, not to be rude or anything! But, who are you exactly?"

I just have to know who this girl is, no one has ever complimented my singing –except my family but we all know that doesn't count-. And I am not used to someone being nice to me, especially a stranger. Who is she?

She looks at me with her innocent eyes and laughs, "Why I'm Blair Flannigan, nice to meet you!"

She outstretches her arm to me, signaling me to shake her hand.

I hesitate a bit, but then grab her arm and make an upward to downward movement, "I'm Jaden, Jaden Yuki."

She pulls her arm towards herself again, "So what brings you here Jaden, Jaden Yuki?"

I don't really know how to answer this question. I am experiencing two different feelings, on one hand I am reluctant to tell her everything that has just happened –not solely because I just met her, but because I'm not good at talking about my feelings- but on the other hand.. I really do want to tell her what's going on, I feel so comfortable with this girl.

I stand still for a few seconds and before I even know it my mouth opens, "Well, Blair Flannigan, I kind of just had a big argument with my parents and decided to get out of the house for a while. And without knowing where I would end up I just kept running until I ran out of breath."

She has a worried look on her face but it doesn't hold me back from talking, "And, you see, after I rested for a little while I looked around and noticed how the snow had covered everything. I was mesmerized to say the least." I look up to the sky and smile.

She looks at me with a smile mingled with worry, "It's beautiful isn't it?"

I look at her, "It really is. With weather like this I can not stay inside."

The main reason behind this is that I know there won't be a lot of other people around because almost everyone prefers to stay inside with a warm drink, a blanket and a nice fire in times like this.

She chuckles and looks at the sky, "I know exactly how you feel Jaden, Jaden Yuki. When I told my parents I was going out for a walk they looked at me as if had just confessed to a murder."

I laugh and shake my head, "Parents.." I slowly lose my smile.

She notices I'm starting to get a bit sad, she quickly turns her head back in my direction and smiles warmly, "So where are you from? And where did you learn to sing like that?"

Just when I had gotten rid of my red cheeks I start to blush again at her comment, "Well, I'm from a town a little while from here. And I don't really know, I guess I've always had it inside of me but only recently have gotten the courage to let it out."

She raises an eyebrow, "You mean you haven't been singing your entire life? Boy, what a waste."

I laugh, "Well, this is quite a tough subject for me to talk about, or even to just dwell on but.."

She looks at me in a comforting way, "Jaden, if you're not ready to tell me it's ok. I don't want to push anything."

I softly think to myself, "Where have you been my entire life?", "You know what, Blair Flannigan, I wánt to tell you." I do, I want to tell her, I want to open up to her. I don't know exactly why I do nor why I feel the way I feel about this girl but my gut is telling me to go with it and I don't question my gut.

She gives me a heartwarming smile, "If you feel ready for this, then feel free to tell me anything that's on your mind. I'm quite the listener."

I commence walking through the forest as I begin telling her my story, "Honestly, the reason why I'm in this forest is because nature is my salvation. I struggle through life. I am not exactly the most fun person, or outgoing, or social, you know."

She looks at me with doubt in her eyes, "Really, you? The guy who's been addressing me by my whole name the entire time?"

I nod, "Yea, and believe me, I don't know why I'm this social with you at this point, I guess you're special."

She smiles.

I continue, "I have been lonely for as long as I can remember and the only friend I ever had turned out to be nothing but a shell of a person. I've never been able to trust anyone with any of my problems and it's been extremely hard for me to cope with everything life has thrown at me so far.."

She comforts me as she notices how I'm starting to tear up, "You've got me now, Jaden. Don't worry, we'll get you through this. Together."

I start to cry, "I just… it's just.. God it's so hard!'

We come to a sudden stop and I try to fight back my tears.

Blair looks at me, "Don't hold them back Jaden. Stop putting up a fight. Let it go." And she embraces me.

I feel so many emotions running through my body at this point. Anger, sadness, hope, love, regret.. and so many more emotions that I can't name because I am unable to grasp them.

I sob. And in combination with my gasps I say, "I'm.. I'm so sorry Blair".

She tightens her embrace, "Shh Jaden, don't worry."

After 5 minutes of nothing but silent embracing I let go of her, to her surprise.

We look at each other, she smiles at me with a smile so heartwarming I can't help but smile myself, "Thank you Blair. You have no idea how much I needed this."

She tilts her head softly to the right, causing some of her hair to cover her face. She brings her hand to her head and performs one smooth movement to result in her hair being behind her ear, "Jaden, I know how much you needed this."

Wait, what? If this is some type of trick by my parents to make me talk to someone I'm going to be seriously mad. "What do you mean you know?!"

She is startled, but shakes her head, "I've been there, Jaden. I know exactly what you're going through."

I look at her with my chocolate brown eyes wide, "You mean you've been…"

She closes her eyes, "Yes, Jaden. You're not alone in this. What do you think I'm doing in this place? Nature is not just one man's guide to peace. When I was struggling with life myself I sought something to calm my spirits. I sought salvation, and found it in nature. And art."

I look at her surprised, "Art?"

Blair laughs, "Yes, you discovered your ability to sing like a divine angel," -I'm starting to think she is overreacting like this because she likes to see me blush- "and I discovered I have a gifted hand, for painting that is."

"You paint?" I inquire

"Yep! And nothing sooths me more than experiencing the gorgeous nature we have all around us." She says as she looks around, staring at each individual tree for a certain amount of time, as if she is memorizing them.

"Would you mind showing me some of the paintings you've made?" I ask in wonderment.

She looks at me with her head slightly tilted forward, a hidden smile and raised eyebrows, "You think an artist shows her work to everyone just like that?"

I smile "Maybe an artist doesn't. But you do. I mean, it's only fair, you've heard my angelic voice for free."

She lets out one hard laugh and then puts on the most serious face I have seen of hers, "Are you really going to use my own words against me now Jaden, Jaden Yuki?"

I return the favor and look at her seriously, "I just might."

We stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter, "Well, in all honesty, Jaden, I can't. Not yet."

I give her another one of my serious looks, "Blair, if you're not ready to tell me it's ok. I don't want to push anything."

She smiles, "Seriously, you need to get some of your own lines," And punches me in the arm, "the thing is though, I want to show you the piece I'm working on now. Or well, what I intend to work on starting today but that's obviously not yet possible."

I grin, "Obviously! Has it something to do with me? Your piece?"

She punches me again, "I have been walking the entire course of the day, I've gained a lot of different ideas from a lot of different sceneries and you dare ask if it's about you? Of course it's not about you."

I give her a small push, "Whatever floats your boat, Blair Flannigan."

She recovers herself quickly as I didn't push her hard, "The painting I'm going to start working on is the painting I want to use for my entrance exam for Dual Academy."

I raise an eyebrow, "Dual Academy? What's that?"

Blair looks at me as if I don't even know what a dog is, "Are you serious? You've never heard of Dual Academy?"

"Nope."

"Well you should have! That's the school where everyone with an apt for art goes to. Painting, drawing, singing, dancing, it's all there! And they only accept the best of the best."

"Really? But what about the normal subjects? Like biology, maths, etcetera?" I inquire. I'm really curious about this school. Maybe that's where my future lies.

She gives me another serious look, "You're not the best with logic, eh? What do you think the Dual stands for? The whole point of Dual Academy is that it provides both an individual arts program and the classical subjects you'll find at every other university. So it's a win-win situation."

I open my eyes widely, "That sounds like a sweet school! Too bad I won't be able to go because of the entrance exam you just mentioned." Why do these awesome opportunities always come with such a drawback. No way I will be able to pass the entrance exam to a school with such high standards.

Blair pushes me, "Dude! Don't get all depressed on me! I know for certain that you will pass the entrance exam," she starts to smile and looks at me from the corner of her eyes, "IF you participate that is."

Should I participate? I guess it wouldn't hurt to at least try out, but what if I'm horrible? And what if they blatantly decline me? I'm not sure if I will be able to deal with something like this right now..

"You think I should do it? I mean, I've never taken any professional singing classes and I've never…" she interrupts me, "Jaden. Just take it from me, you're good enough."

"But what if they..", once again I'm not able to finish my sentence, "Jaden! Seriously! Why do you doubt yourself so much? You're a good-looking guy, you're funny, you're honest, you have the voice of an angel, I'm just saying! They will be lucky to have you!"

This is the first time someone has ever said such things to me and with the blink of an eye all my doubts are gone. Is she my salvation? Is she my own personal nature?

"Blair.. I.. I don't know what to say.."

She smirks at me, "You can start by saying you'll attend to Dual Academy next year. With me of course, no way I'm letting you get in without me!"

I laugh, "Oh I wasn't planning to, don't worry, I won't leave you behind."

She sighs, "I'm gonna regret saying all those positive things about you, won't I?"

I smile as wide as I can, "Yup! For as long as you live!"

After walking a few minutes in complete silence, save for the occasional tweets of the birds or the amazing sound fresh snow makes when you take a step on it, we decide to say our goodbyes.

Blair stops and points at a beautiful big house in the distance, "This is me. But before I go, I'm going to pay a visit to Dual Academy around february next year, you're free to join me."

I smile, "I would love to!"

She nods, "Good, because I was not going to take no for an answer!"

I laugh, "Your determination is golden."

She winks at me, "You're stating the obvious Jay, tell me something I don't already know."

'_Jay'_… Syrus used to call me that. Even though I'm still mad and upset about what he did to me, I miss him. I miss him so much. Maybe I should try to make it up to him? But, how would I do that? I'm not really the one who should apologise to him for abandoning him. That's kind of his responsibility. I guess I'll have to deal with missing him for I don't expect him to apologise to me anytime soon.

Blair notices I'm lost in thoughts and nudges me with her elbow –which causes me to snap out of my thinking-, "You there Jaden, Jaden Yuki?"

I smile at her, "Present! I was just thinking about something unimportant, no big deal."

"You sure?"

"Yup! Don't worry. Anyway, I shall let you go, for now." I smirk

She smiles, "Such a gentleman you are. I'll give you my number so we can keep in touch."

Is she really going to give me her number? No one has ever willingly offered their number to me. This must mean she actually wants to keep in touch with me..

She reaches out her hand, "Give me your phone so I can put my number into it."

Should I trust her? What if she decides to take off with my iPhone? No, she won't do such a thing, not after everything we shared in the woods. I hand over my phone, "Here you go, I hope you don't plan on stealing it from me though."

She smiles, "Was it that obvious then? Seems like I must learn how to put on a better pokerface." She adds herself to my contacts as 'Blair Flannigan', "There you go, just send me a text later on so I'll have your number as well. Oh, by the way, you have 17 missed calls from 'mom'."

I open my eyes wide as I take my phone back and check the screen, "What?! I suppose I'll give her a call in a minute then."

She nods, "Sounds like a plan. Whatever issues you have with your parents, I'm convinced you'll find a way to solve them."

We hug for a few seconds and then each head for our separate destination. Blair is only about 10 meters away from her door when I decide to call my mom.

A lot of thoughts and sentences race through my mind as I'm pacing my way back home. The phone is still ringing on the other side and I'm getting more and more nervous every passing second.

My mom answers her phone, "Jaden! Jaden where are you?! I've called you 20 times!"

I sigh, "Mom, I'm sorry. I had my phone on silent and I was talking to a friend so I didn't notice you called me.. I'm on my way home now."

I hear a sigh of relief coming from the other end, "Jaden, I'm sorry we hadn't informed you earlier about Mss. Marshall coming. Me and your dad have talked about it and we decided to let you choose whether you want to talk to her or not."

I smile even though I know my mom can't see it, "I rather talk to you and dad first, there's quite a lot I have to tell you. I'll be home in about 10 minutes."

"Okay sweetie, I understand, see you soon."

I guess it's time to confess everything to my parents. I do believe it will help me a lot, finally being able to open up about every last memory to my parents. Talking to Blair has really shown me just how much the banal act of talking about something can be of such help.

Once I get home I slowly open the door that's been left ajar and enter. I have yet to shut the door properly and I'm caught by surprise by my mom's embrace. It's not just a casual embrace between two relatives, this is an embrace with strong feelings, an embrace with a story, with a narrative. Our embrace lasts for minutes and we both start to tear up as if we hadn't seen each other in months and were reunited at last. Once she releases me from her grip I can see her face is covered in tears, "Don't cry mom." I say inbetween my own sobs and I wipe away her tears using my thumbs.

"I'm not crying sweety, I'm just, releasing all tension." She says smiling.

I smile back, "I know mom, I've been there as well not too long ago."

We start walking to the living room, and once we're settled my mom asks me about Blair.

"So, who is this friend you were talking to when I was calling you?"

I smile, "I recently met her, well, I júst met her. I was strolling through a nearby forest and ran into her and we talked for a few hours."

She nods her head, "I see you've made a new friend! I'm so proud of you, what's her name?"

I chuckle, "Blair Flannigan. She's awesome, we had a great connection right from the start and she really helped me open up."

"I see, well maybe she's your soulmate. Is she cute?"

"She really is, but… she's not.." I cannot believe I'm about to come out to my mom, " she's not quite what I'm into." I look at my mom in hopes of her getting the hidden meaning of what I just said.

"Oh sweetie I know." She gives me a smile, followed by a hug, "I've known for a while Jaden."

Is this a good thing? It must be a good thing, I guess I was right a few months ago when I suspected her of knowing my secret –causing her to worry about me-.

"Oh mom, I'm so glad I could finally get this off of my chest! I've been bullied so much for it and it was so hard not to talk about it but I was worried you might have disowned me or something." I know she wants to let go of me to give me a speech about how she could never disown me for a reason as petty as that but I'm not ready to let go of her just yet. This moment.. I'll cherish this moment for the remainder of my life.

A few days have passed and it's about mid december at the moment. I have talked about my feelings and my sexuality with my dad and just like my mom he's ok with it. But he finds it hard to believe I have no feelings for Blair for I can not stop talking about how awesome she is. In my defense, she really is an awesome person, we've texted almost every day and we meet up every now and then to either work on my singing or to wander through nature in search of inspiration for one of her upcoming paintings. One of the drawbacks of december is the exam period, all I do is sit at home and study. Sitting at home is pretty much all I ever do but studying is just something I really don't like, and to be frank I'm not really good at it either. I can't wait to go check out Dual Academy with Blair next year. I have looked up its location and apparently it's situated right in the middle of a wooded area, surrounded by beautiful streams of blue serenity. It has quite a few dorms related to it so I wonder if I will have to move there for the entire semester –or maybe even an entire year- or if that's just for the people who travel long distances to get to the academy. Nevertheless, I'm really looking forward to experiencing this school which means I will have to give it my all these exams I will be able to graduate from my high school and leave behind this part of my life for good.

It's the night of the 23rd on the 24th of December and I got my results today and much to my pleasure I passed all of my exams. I even managed to pass a few with flying colors! I really didn't expect to score this good on certain exams, my future at Dual Academy might even be closer to me than I originally anticipated. I texted Blair to inquire about her grades and after a few minutes I got a reply, "_I PASSED EVERYTHING! C u at 7 to celebrate? xx_". We celebrated our grades like the aspiring university students we were: with drinks, fastfood, songs, games and secrets. I was staying over at her house even though her parents don't fully consent to it. However, we did explain nothing would be happening considering we both like the same sex but her dad didn't buy it, "_That's a convincing lie young man, did you come up with it yourself or did my little Princess aid you?" _I guess a father of a teenage girl has a natural instinct of being overprotective, just like a mother of a teen boy senses every inner struggle he experiences.

Blair's mother was able to convince Mr. Flannigan in the end, which he knew made his 'Princess' really happy. Thanks to one of our games, namely Truth or Dare, I was able to discover Blair was actually seeing someone right now! I wasn't able to get a lot of adjacent information though, but I'm really happy she has a boyfriend because she deserves the best. And by the sound of her description he seems like the perfect guy for her, which makes me experience a bit of an inner struggle between happiness and envy for I really crave a boyfriend, especially this time of year.

My family doesn't celebrate a traditional Christmas Eve. A lot of people get all of their presents early and some even visit family, or have family visit them. Here, at the Yuki's we do things differently. We don't get any of our presents until it's actually Christmas Day, I quite like this tradition because it makes me really appreciate what I get, and most of the times it's well worth the wait.

The 25th of December, Christmas Day. I wake up at around 11:00 and basically skip into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face and all other acts of cleaning necessary to look my best. After I've washed, blowdried and combed my hair I'm ready to go downstairs. My mom always makes the most amazing breakfast of the year on Christmas, and much to my stomach's delight, she has really surpassed herself this year. This has to be one of the few days on which we eat and I prefer not having the tv on –however, as of late we tend to talk more during dinner so the tv is usually only used for background music-. After I've finished wolfing down my eggs, sandwiches and bacon I help my mom clean up the table so we can finally start opening the presents. I hope my parents will like what I have gotten for them, and I'm honestly curious as to what they got me for this is the first year I have not made a list for things I desire.

I'm sitting on the couch waiting to open my presents, watching my parents' reactions to the gifts I got them –and to the gifts they had gotten from their significant other-. Seeing how happy people can get just by unwrapping giftpaper makes me feel good inside, to know that for just a slit second we can forget all of our misery and pain and share the joy of being together.

My mom walks up to me carrying two gifts, am I getting two gifts?

I unwrap them with this stupid grin on my face -that kind of uncontrollable smile you wear when opening packages-. The first gift I open contains a microphone, "You got me a microphone?!", I smile and yell in disbelief.

My parents smile at each other, and then turn their heads to me, "We've overheard you call with Blair a while ago and hear you sing in the shower, or in your room, or basically everywhere these days so we though this might be the perfect gift."

I walk up to my parents and give them a big hug, "Thank you so much!" I smile sarcastically, "Never thought eavesdropping would be a good thing."

"Now go open your second present sweetie." My mom says in an attempt to change the topic, a successful attempt I might add.

"A new Duel Monsters game! Sweet!", I have been wanting to get this new game for a while now. I have finished the other game and want to try out the new cards they have in Duel Monsters 2. Unfortunately I won't be able to play much today for we have to visit family starting, well, right now.

"Time to get dressed Jaden, we have to be at grandma's in 30 minutes." My dad said while putting away his new garden tool I had bought him.

We arrive at my grandmother's place –the mother of my mother, my grandfather has passed away a few months ago- and it's filled with family members, most of which I only see at occasions like this. Everyone is happy, smiling, cheering and they're all wishing each other a merry Christmas. Somehow I feel empty inside when I'm around my family, it's on holidays like this on which that feeling is twice as strong. Everyone gets along and has small talk with each other but for me, all I do is sit and think about myself, my flaws, my shortcomings, my hardships, Syrus, Chazz,... Every now and then I get an urge to say what's on my mind in reply to something one of my aunts, uncles or cousins says, but then I figure they probably won't even care for what I have to say so I keep my silence and pretend to not be around.

I distance myself from everyone else and decide to head for the porch, my grandparents have this amazing wooden porch swing on which I can separate myself from every negative thought just by rocking back and forth. The porch swing is painted a gorgeous white due to the snow and I don't want to sweep away any of its magic so without giving it second thoughts I sit down. Even though I'm covered in enough layers I can still feel it, I can feel the coldness touching me, touching the skin underneath my clothing. It's a nice feeling, the feeling of being one with nature, even if it is through being cold. I lift my feet off the ground and put them on the construction to which I resort when I'm in need of withdrawal from my family's ignorance and carelessness, the porch swing, as I lean against one of the supporting poles I breathe out and see a beautiful white column of smoke appear in front of me. It's a pity we can only observe our breath in cold weather even if it's just a second before it dissolves as quickly as it appeared.

I hear my mom's voice overpower my thoughts, "Jaden! Come back inside, dinner's ready!"

I take a while to reply, "Be there in a _sec _mom."

At the dinner table everyone falls back into their old habits, my two aunts talk about how much they despise their jobs, my dad and one of my uncles talk about footbal results and how they would create a team if it were up to them, constant arguing between my other aunt and uncle, my mom and my other uncle listening to my grandmother's pleas, all of my cousins talking about their hobbies, relationships or education, and then there's me, sitting quietly on the edge of the table looking outside whilst stuffing myself with the only positive things about this day, the food.

I overhear a conversation between my cousins about homosexuality –which finds it way to their conversation one way or another- and all I can think, all I can hope for, is that they won't have negative points of view towards it. Obviously, once again my wishes are vain.

Lily -my oldest female cousin- sighs, "Honestly, I mean, it's their life and all, but I find It really gross when I see two guys together." To which all of my other cousins nod in agreement, except Andrea -my other female cousin who is about my age and differs three years from Lily-.

To my own surprise she sticks up for me, without realising she is doing so, "I personally think two guys are cute together, plus, I really don't get why everyone feels the need to judge them."

Lily smiles, "I'm not judging them Andrea."

Andrea lifts her eyebrows, "You just said you find it gross to see two guys together. That's judging right there, and you don't even bother to consider the personality of either of them in your judgement. Maybe you need to think more before you speak Lily, wouldn't hurt you." Andrea steps away from the table and leaves a mark on Lily's thought pattern for I hear her say "Maybe she's right, what do you think Jaden?"

Really? Why does she want to know my opinion on this? Could she be onto me and try to lure me out of my cavern so she can confirm her suspicions?

I breathe faster and refrain from looking into Lily's eyes, "I, ehm, I think Andrea is right. Judging people based on their sexuality is the most superficial thing anyone can do. And it has lead to a lot of lives being ruined so I really don't think anyone should have the right to tell someone else who they should or shouldn't date." Lily wants to say something but I look into her eyes to show that I'm not finished yet, "Of course everyone is entitled to having their own opinion but using the term 'gross'.. really Lily? I didn't expect that from you, I thought you were smarter than that." I get up, leave the table and go back to a place I know I can be alone, the porch.

I exit the front door and head back to the swing to do the same thing I always do when I need to relax my spirit. I plug in my headphones and listen to music as I'm observing the environment. Every now and then I can see a branch of one of the poplars almost reach its breaking point due to the excessive amount of snow bundled together on top of it, but just when it is about to break the snow falls to the ground causing the branch to bend back to its original position.

Dreams of a white Christmas are present in everyone's mind, whether they realise it or not. It has been a few years since we've had a white Christmas in this area, but it doesn't feel white to me. The surface of my existence may be white -just like that of the porch swing or the poplars- but underneath the beautiful white cover, my inside is the same shade of dark as it has been each and every other season for the past few years.

The encounter with Blair has been the supporting pole of the swing in my being, without her I would've collapsed by the end of this year. I am close to my breaking point but all I can do now is wait for the snow to fall off.


	4. Lifting Clouds

Chapter 3: Lifting Clouds

People always say 'New year, new me.' But that doesn't seem to fit me right now.

A few days have passed since the holiday season and things are still exactly the same as they were back in november. I'm still being bullied at school and Syrus hasn't even bothered to rebuild our friendship, I'm starting to actually believe he never will. He has gotten a better life nowadays, he has a lot of friends, he has a girlfriend, he's no longer being bullied, he gets good grades.. Somehow, somewhere deep inside of me I feel proud of him in some strange way.

However, some aspects of my life have changed for the better. I am no longer alienated from my parents. Ever since the incident with that psychologist I have been able to talk to my parents, especially my mom, about anything. And not only has the bond I have with my parents strenghtened, I have also acquired the best friend a guy could wish for.

I meet Blair every now and then and we hang for a couple of hours, it's hard to find a time on which we can both be available beca use school is really starting to ask a lot of both of us.

Where I live we have a special day on which we celebrate our last 100 days of high school and the preparations for that day have already begun, and they require a lot of energy for I am our class' main event. I'm quite proud of myself to have such an important role, especially because I've been ignored practically each day throughout high school and now they want me to represent our class. Working together with them on a daily basis really made me get to know my classmates on a more personal level and it seems that all girls in my class have started to accept me as their friend. The guys, like Chazz and Syrus, however, don't seem to step down from their pedestal as easily. I'm becoming more open around my classmates and I can finally really be myself.

Here is how it all happened.

It's around february and the holiday season has been over for a few weeks. School hasn't changed all that much yet, but I can feel my life is bound to head into another direction. My class, which consists of about 20 people (12 girls and 8 guys), starts to get together to decide what we are going to do for our Celebration. Chazz titled himself as leader of the meetings, which doesn't surprise anyone.

"So, does any of you slackers have any idea of what we can do?", Chazz announces as he walks up to the front of the classroom.

One of my female classmates, Erin, answers in a bored tone, "We could do, like, a dance or something?"

To which her best friend Ella replies, "YES! Let's do that! I love to dance!"

Erin and Ella have been best friends since kindergarten, which surprises me every now and then because their personalities are the complete opposite. (For as much as I know them, that is). Erin is a gorgeous blonde girl with light greyish eyes and always wears a bored look on her face as if she doesn't have a single care in the world, and won't make any efforts to change that. Ella on the other hand is one of the most excited people I have ever met and she lights up every room she enters with her dazzling personality and amazingly cute smile. She has mid-length light brown hair and eyes that make you wonder if they're real or contacts, they are light green tinged with tiny golden specks every here and there.

Chazz, annoyed, "Ella, maintain your enthusiasm. We're not going to dance. Every year, every class has done a dance. I want us to be different!"

"Well then what's your idea? See if that's any better." Ella replies as she exhales more air than necessary, to emphasise her displease.

"That's where you guys come in. We have to find something we all want, and agree to." Chazz explains.

"I'm not planning on making a fool out of myself so you guys better come up with something good.", Meredith says, painting her nails.

Meredith is the benjamin of our class and is continually adjusting her hair or make-up, to many student's annoyance. She often wears her blonde hair in a ponytail and curled bangs and when she smiles her youth really comes forth. However, don't let Meredith's appearance fool you for she can turn from an innocent damsel in distress into evil incarnate.

"You make a fool out of yourself every day, Meredith, you don't need us for that." Syrus says in a bratty tone that I'm still not used to, causing Meredith's face to tense up. She turns to him, "Listen here shorty, just because you've got more friends now does not make you any cooler than the twerp you've always been, so if I were you I'd shut my nerdy face."

Syrus' confident, and arrogant, smile fades and the insecure doubt in his eyes found its way back. Chazz intervenes, "Don't mind her, Sy, she has issues."

"Excuse me? And who do you think yóu are? You know what, fine, whatever. I'm out of here. Figure it out." Meredith takes her purse and jacket and leaves the classroom in an angry mood.

Chazz laughs, "Perfect, one nuisance less to deal with."

I can see Ella wants to say something but for whatever reason she decides not to.

This is where I come in, "That was really unnecessary Chazz."

"Oh was it now, Gayden? Did I hurt anyone's feelings?", he replies mockingly.

"Can't you ever act mature, Chazz? You may be older than a lot of us on technical grounds, but when it comes down to our mental age you are seriously lagging behind."

Chazz starts to get red, "Do you honestly think I care about what YOU think of me or my mental age," he uses air quotation marks as he speaks the words 'mental age', "because really, I don't. And neither does anyone else in here, so shut your mouth before I make history repeat itself."

Ella looks angrily at Chazz, "Speak for yourself Chazz, not everyone in here is an ignorant child!"

Erin nods, "Stop using us as reinforcements for your horrible stances on Jaden."

Chazz exhales "Pf, whatever."

Are Erin and Ella really backing me up? I guess my days of solitude in class might just have reached their end. "Thanks, girls."

They both nod at me, and smile, "No worries."

"If we could all please stop the bickering and emotional humdrums I suggest we start brainstorming for our act.", Matt says.

"That would be lovely." Answers Luana.

Matt is always the one that manages to home in on the real issue when others are distracted or laying into each other for the most petty reasons. He's a relatively buff guy and has short black, semi-curling hair. He and Luana have been a couple for 4 years now and their personalities really complement each other. Luana is another one of the girls in my class, she has brown eyes, long straight black hair and an amazing, and very special, fashion sense. Today she's wearing a pair of white pants with black horizontal stripes on them, a white shirt, a yellow cropped jacket and black boots.

"If dancing is off the table, then what's left to do?" Erin asks.

Should I mention that I can sing? It would be a great opportunity for me to show that I am actually worth something and am more than just a toy for Chazz to set his teeth into. Plus, if I'm going to sing for my Dual Academy's entrance exam I'll have to be prepared and knowing that I've never even set foot on a stage before I could really use all experience I can get.

"I could sing." I say with a shaky voice because I'm still not confident enough to put myself out there.

I can feel everyone's eyes on me, I start to get as red as a beetroot and all I can think of is backing out before it's too late. "If you want, that is."

"You can sing Jaden?" Luana asks with a smile of happiness tinged with astonishment.

"Why haven't you told us earlier? This is perfect!" Ella practically screams in excitement.

I'm no longer able to hide my smile, and the redness on my face becomes even worse, but this time the colour didn't rise because of feelings of shame, but because my cheeks seem to express their gratitude towards compliments by becoming extremely red.

Syrus doesn't like where this is all heading so he tries to stop it, vainly, "You don't actually want to make Jaden the center of our performance, right?"

I really wonder why he turned so hard against me, I've never done anything wrong to the kid. I guess popularity raises to your head faster than one would expect.

Matt answers, "No, not just Jaden. Him and Luana!"

"What?! Me? But Matt, I.." Luana utters.

"Babe, I've heard you sing a lot of times, you can do this." Matt says with a smile before he goes in and kisses her.

"I..I really don't know, I'm not that good at performing in front of a crowd." She answers.

"Lu," I call out to her, "If I can do it, so can you. Trust me." I smile and try to comfort her because I can sense some fear in her eyes. This makes me see that even the most popular and confident people have their doubts and fears. So I'm really not all that alone as I've thought.

Ella walks up to Luana and grabs her hands, "Come on Luana! This will be amazing!"

She smiles and looks at me, I nod, "Ok! I'll do it! Well, we'll do it!"

Chazz chuckles, "I hate to break it to you dweebs, but there's more than just the two of you that need to perform."

I smile, "Oh we know that, Chazz, don't worry, you won't be forgotten."

Chazz gives me an angry look, "The nerve."

"We can be your back-up dancers. That way we all get to do something decently doable and we'll differentiate ourselves from the others." Erin adds to the solution.

"No way! I'm not going to dance as a back-up to Gayden!" Chazz yells.

Syrus, playing the role of sidekick, "Yea, me neither!"

"There's always the props that need to be taken care of, seems like a fitting job for you, Chazz." Matt states in all seriousness.

Chazz walks up to Matt and looks him in the eyes, "If you make another smart-ass remark like that I'll make sure it'll be your last."

Matt smiles, "Do you think I'm scared, Chazzie?"

"You'd better be!" Chazz yells as he tries to tackles Matt. Matt pushes him back and launches a punch, but he gets blocked by Chazz. Before any of us can realise what's going down, the classroom has turned into a chaos. Chazz and Matt are fighting and causing chairs and desks to fall over, Luana and Syrus are yelling at the fighting duo and each other, Ella is yelling "Stop!" over and over again, but to no avail and Erin, I, and the rest of us are just trying to take the whole situation in.

Before we can realise what's going on, Miss Mores enters.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" she yells while breaking up the fighting duo.

"Ask goth kid over there." Matt says as he wipes away some blood and saliva off of his chin, with Luana on his side handing him paper tissues.

Chazz points at Matt, "He started it! He pushed me for no reason when I was just trying to find something for us to do at the Celebration!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" me and Luana yell at the same time.

How dare Chazz blame Matt like that. He has been the one causing arguments with practically everyone in this room and now he dares play the role of victim. This is the kind of people I really wouldn't mind missing in my life. I hope there won't be anyone like this at Dual Academy.

Miss Mores starts to lose her patience, "It doesn't matter who started. Look at the room! You two," She points at both Chazz and Matt, "clean up this mess right now! And you are both no longer allowed to perform at the Celebration!"

Ella was clearly not happy with that verdict, "But Miss, you can't.."

"CASE CLOSED, Ella. Now get to cleaning you two." Miss Mores exits the room shaking her head uttering a final word, "Teenagers..".

I don't mind Chazz not being in our performance at all, but I do find it sad for Matt. Although, I think he doesn't mind all that much, especially because he knows his girlfriend will be our headliner.

"Man, this sucks!" Chazz says as he's doing up the classroom's chaos."

I walk past him, "Look at it from te bright side, Chazz. At least now you won't have to worry about being my back-up dancer anymore."

I can't believe I actually said that. I can get used to this feeling. Saying what I want to say and when I want to makes me feel really good inside. As if I'm on my way to maturity and no longer afraid of others' opinions or judgements.

So basically this is when it was decided that me and Luana would be the protagonists of our performance at the Celebration. We meet every Wednesday at her house and every Saturday at mine to draw up our routine. Everyone else decided to let us run this performance. So in other words, me and Luana carry all responsibility. At first I loved the thought of being able to tell everyone what to do for once and not be the guy just doing whatever he's told, but as the weeks pass I am starting to get nervous. There is just so much going on in my life right now, I'm not sure if I can manage to keep all the dots connected.

However tough and time-consuming everything I went in for is, the new year ís leading to new me. I've been very sceptical towards the whole "new year, new me"-speeches everyone abuses around January, but I can actually feel changes rising to the surface. I am co-running the class' performance at our annual seniors' Celebration at school and I am preparing myself for my Dual Academy entrance exam. I still have all my regular courses to study for on a daily basis though, and sadly my time management isn't the best so I struggle with the pressure of all the tasks I have burdened myself with. Me and Blair have had a small argument not too long ago because she is afraid our friendship will suffer from my busy schedule but I am certain it will not. Blair is the only real friend I've ever had and no amount of work or stress will ever make me neglect her.

The argument started when Blair mentioned our visit to Dual Academy and I had to tell her I was unavailable on the day she wanted to go. Our original plan was to go to Dual Academy first thing in February, but now that me and Luana have to meet up every Wednesday ánd Saturday it's not that convenient anymore. The Celebration takes place the 23rd of March which means we have about a month left to get everything ready. Just thinking about it makes me stress. What if we don't finish up early enough? Or if the rest of my class doesn't like what me and Luana put together? What if they just ignore my directions and do what they want to do themselves? I hope this won't turn out bad.

It's the 27th of February and me and Luana have just finished up our routine. We both know what song we want to sing, how we want our back-up dancers to dance, how we'll interact with each other, the outfits we need and all that jazz. Now it's time to relax for a few hours in the shower.

My phone starts to ring as I'm about to jump in the shower.

"Hey Jaden!" I hear Blair's excited voice through the speaker of my phone.

"Hey Blair, what's up?" I answer.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that the dates of the Academy's entrance exams for singers have recently been announced."

"Really? Do you know them?" I am really curious, I hope they won't be soon for I have barely practiced the song I want to sing simply because all of my time goes to the Celebration.

"Yes of course I do, otherwise I wouldn't call you now, would I?" I hear her laugh

"Whatever, smartass, just tell me already! The anticipation is killing me!"

"You won't like this though, they're in april." She says with a sad notion in her voice.

What? How can this be? I'll only have less than a month to practice for it. How am I ever going to pull this off?

"Are you serious?" I inquire, maybe she's joking.

"I'm afraid so. But, if it makes it any better, they are the 20th so you'll have about a month to practice. Which isn't that little come to think of it."

She is vainly trying to cheer me up. I know a month is not even remotely close to the amount of time and preparation an exam requires. Two months might come closer but then I will have to call off the lead in the Celebration and put all responsibility on Luana and that's something I can't do. I can't let my classmates down, even if they've never appreciated me before all of this, I can't do it. I can not and will not call off the performance.

"You and I both know a month is virtually nothing. Even you, being active in arts for years, have been working on your painting since November last year and you expect me to believe that a month will be good enough for me? Someone who started singing a mere 3 months ago?"

"I never said it would be easy, Jaden. But if you want to go to Dual Academy next year, and I know you are capable of doing so, then I suggest you start realising that if you keep up what you've been doing the past month with that party you won't make it." Her voice got from soothing and cheering into serious and slightly angry in a matter of seconds.

"Thanks for the motivation Blair, exactly what I needed." I snarl at her.

She sighs, "Jaden, don't hate me for this but you really need to put more time and effort into this entrance exam. It's a prestigious school and they won't accept anyone if they have even the slightest of doubt about the quality of their performance. And I know you are good enough to make it. I just know it and I would hate to see you get denied because you lacked dedication."

"I don't lack dedication, I'm just swamped with the preparations for the Celebration, which by the way is my first performance ever. I can use this experience for my entrance exam seeing as I won't be as nervous if it's my second performance instead of my first. Surely I won't be able to work on my solo song that much but at least I'll get some stage experience from it."

"You might have a point there, the stage experience will come in handy. Sorry for coming at you like that earlier, I just want us to go to the Academy together next year and it would suck to not have you around."

"I know Blair, but, even if I do have enough time to prepare, I still might not be good enough to enter that university. You say I am a good enough singer but if they are as strict as you said earlier I really don't know if I…"

Just like in the good old days, Blair interrupts me when I start to doubt myself,

"JADEN! They are strict, but they are just. THEREFORE, you shall be granted acceptance into their school. All you have to do is prepare and be ready."

I don't know if she is right. Even if I managed to practice for months, I am convinced that I lack overall experience and one simple high school performance isn't going to change a lot about that.

"If you say so Blair. Anyway, I'm going to take a shower now, been meaning to for 20 minutes now." I laugh

"Alright! Oh! Before I forget, do you think we can visit Dual Academy next Sunday?" she asks.

"Next Sunday, hmm, the 3rd of March, Yes! I don't have anything to do that day."

"Finally! Praise the Lord!" We both laugh. "So I'll meet you at the bus station at 9 am?"

"Sweet! See you then Blair!" I hang up the phone and get into the shower, at last.

It's the 3rd of March and besides the usual practice with Luana and working on homework, nothing else exciting happened.

I just got up and it's 8h20 at the moment, meaning I'll have 40 minutes to get ready and head for the bus station to meet up with Blair because we're finally going to check out Dual Academy. I'm really excited for it, so I better get dressed right now or I won't make it on time.

I'm on my way to the bus station and I see Syrus walking in my direction, should I say hey to him? Maybe it'll be better if I just ignore him, like he did to me.. I just can't seem to get myself acting that way, I never could and I don't think I ever will.

"Hey Syrus." I say as we get close enough for us to engage into a conversation.

"Hey Jay." He replies and just like that he passes me by, I guess there won't be a conversation this time. I can't really complain though, at least he doesn't ignore me anymore like he tends to do when he's surrounded by others. I get to the station and see Blair waiting for me.

"Hey Blair!" I shout to her so she turns around and waves at me. I wave back.

"Jaden! I was starting to think you wouldn't show up." She smiles

"You know me Blair, when am I ever on time?" I give her a hug as we both laugh

"You might have a point there Yuki. So, ready to explore DA?"

"You have no idea! I could barely sleep last night because I kept thinking about it!"

"Well I hope you rested enough because it will be a busy day today."

"Oh I know Flannigan, don't worry about me, I'm always ready to go on an adventure."

Sometimes I actually believe that as long as I have Blair with me, I'm prepared to take on every challenge that gets thrown my way. Running away from Rebecca Marshall has got to be the best thing I have ever done in my life.

"With an additional delay you might add."

"Not everyone can pull off an out-of-bed look like you, Blair. I need some time to get ready."

She gives me a sceptical look, "Please! If one of us is sporting an out-of-bed look it's you, Jaden, and don't you deny that."

"Wasn't going to. On a different note, the bus is arriving!"

Blair turns her head, "About time! Looks like you're not the only one with a delay today, Jay."

About 45 minutes later Blair and I arrive at Dual Academy, the buildings are even bigger and prettier than I had ever imagined they would be. Studying here must be a dream come true. Maybe it's time to actually let Blair's advice get through to me and start realising my exam in april is more important than a silly high school performance. But that is exactly the problem I have, I can't see it as a silly high school performance. It's so much more to me than just that. It's my ticket to acceptance in high school, my first performance as an artist, time to bond with my classmates and time to show what I'm made of. How could I possibly see all of this as a 'silly performance'? For the first time in my life I'm being noticed, and not made fun of.

We're walking down a decently long path inside of a forest, or at least something that makes me think of a forest –it looks more like a path surrounded by trees than a forest divided into two parts by a path-. The tranquility that lingers here soothes me to a point at which I can do nothing but walking and enjoying the moment. I am definitely going to enjoy walking down these paved roads when I study here, I can already feel the immense amount of lyric ideas emerging from inside of me. Before I've realised it, we are heading towards the main entrance and when I look up I see this beautiful building, reaching for the sky, stand proudly in front of me.

"Wow, this is so impressive, don't you agree Jaden?" Blair suddenly asks me, after an hour of silent walking.

"I though I was prepared for this, but actually being here is so different from seeing pictures online or even dreaming about it." I answer

Dual Academy is a huge building, I would even dare call it a monument, existing of a variety of shapes and colors. It has about four dome-like roofs, all in a different color and five equal sky-high pilars. Its main color is brown with a nice golden touch to it as if it's been blessed and now telling me that this is where my future lies. This looks nothing like any other building I have ever seen before in my life. We enter through the glassy front door and the inside looks even fancier than the outside.

"Wow, it's so big in here Blair." I state with awe.

"I hope we won't get lost in this place once we start our university careers here."

We stand in the hall for a few minutes trying to find a direction to head for when someone approaches us.

"Good day, can I help you two with something?" he asks us with a genuine smile while petting the cat he's holding.

This guy looks rather peculiar but a smile that genuine is something you just can't give a cold shoulder to. He has long dark blue spiked bangs, a ponytail and wears small square glasses.

He's holding a cute chubby light brown cat with chocolate brown stripes on its paws, back and tail.

"Well, we're aspiring students here and decided to come check this place out to get a first experience with it." Blair answers

"I see, children. My name is Lyman Banner and I am a professor at this school and head of the music department. Now tell me, is any of you here for music?" he says, maintaining his smile.

"That would be me, sir, I sing." I reply

"I see, and call me professor Banner if you don't mind, what's your name young man?"

"The name's Jaden Yuki."

"Pleasure to meet you Jaden, do you have any questions about Dual Academy?"

"I am kind of curious about the level that's required to pass the entrance exams. I have been told that you only accept the best ones so that makes me a bit worried." I inquire

"If you are dedicated to your talent and you can convince us with your abilities you should be able to pass easily. We indeed only accept the best students we can find, but that doesn't necissarily mean that we only accept the students with the best exam scores. For us teachers here at Dual Academy the importance does not lie at a perfect voice or a perfect performance but at dedication, emotion and most importantly, the fun you have as a performer."

Hearing this makes me regain all of my confidence because I know I don't lack in any of these three disciplines.

"This doesn't mean, however," adds another teacher who overheard our conversation "that you should take your exam lightly. We do expect to see a dedicated, strong, powerful performer on stage and when we don't get that we won't hesitate to fail you."

To which professor Banner replies, "Oh Crowler, why must you always scare students like that."

"I don't scare students, Banner, I make them face reality. Don't fill the head of slackers with false hopes and dreams and the image of them being able to get into our precious school simply by showing emotion."

I'm not really sure whether this Crowler is a man or a woman. But based on his voice I'm assuming he's a man. He has blond straight bangs, a ponytail and wears a fancy blue suit which has royal looking shoulder pads and a high pink collar. He's also wearing dark purple lipstick which once again makes me unsure if he is a man or not. He doesn't seem to be the most pleasant teacher to have at this school but I do admire someone who doesn't tell lies simply to put someone else at ease and says it how it is.

"Nice to meet you professor Crowler, I'm Jaden." I offer my hand for a handshake.

"It's dóctor Crowler, and hmm yes, pleasure." He walks off.

"He's lovely." Blair laughs

"You will get used to him children, he's really not that bad as he likes to make others think." Professor Banner replies.

"Mraaaaw!", suddenly professor Banner releases his cat from his grip and it runs off.

"Pharaoh! Excuse me children, I have to get Pharaoh before he gets too far, nice to meet you Jaden, I look forward to seeing your performance." Professor Banner smiles, nods and then runs off in chase of his cat.

It would be awesome to have a crazy professor like that as a teacher, and he is the head of the music department too! It can't get any sweeter!

"I really hope that Crowler guy won't be the head of the visual arts department, I'm not looking forward to getting classes from him!" Blair says with some displease in her voice.

"Don't you mean dóctor Crowler." I reply mockingly.

We both laugh and start walking around the campus to explore some more. It appears as if there are quite a lot of aspiring students visiting today.

After a few hours of exploring we discover a door and some stairs that lead us to the roof of DA. The view from up here is amazing. I can feel a slight breeze making a mess of my hair and when I look straightforward I don't only see the gorgeous evergreen of the trees but also the vast blue ocean and its constant appearing and disappearing waves. Once again I'm mesmerized by the view and overall experience of this island (DA is located on an island with a sole road connecting it with the rest of the city) when suddenly my daydream gets cut short by a stranger's voice.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know someone was already up here."

I turn around only to see the most perfect human being I have ever seen stand right in front of my eyes with his hand behind his head and an apologetic smile on his face. He has gorgeous teal blue hair, mesmerizing emerald eyes and a smile that petrifies my core. I must know who he is. I'm assuming he will also be in the music department because he carries a guitar case on his back.

"It's ok, the roof is big enough for more than two people." Blair replies, noticing that I obviously can't talk right now.

"Are you two aspiring students here too?" he asks as he walks closer to us.

Blair nods, "Yea, we decided to do a bit of sightseeing now that the school is still open for visitors."

The cute guy smiles, "You chose the perfect day to do so then, they don't give open access to the roof every day."

"Really? How do you know?" Blair inquires

"My brother goes to this school, he told me today would be the best day to come check this out myself because I would have access to the roof."

I have been quiet this entire time, I should ask him something before he leaves, before it's too late.

"So do you play guitar?" I ask with a dumb smile on my face. Of course he plays guitar, he has a guitar case strapped on his back.

He nods and smiles, "It would be pretty weird to carry one around and not being able to play on it, wouldn't it?"

"It could've been your brother's." I reply, in an attempt to make my previous question appear less dumb.

"My brother paints, but you could have been right.. ehm, what are your names actually?"

"I paint too! And I'm Blair, nice to meet you." She says and makes a cute bow.

"Nice to meet you Blair! And you?" he looks me straight in the eye and as our visions lock I get a rush of emotions and for the first time in my life I think I'm experiencing feelings of love.

"I.. I'm, I'm Jaden." I stutter

He reaches out his hand, "Nice to meet you Jaden, the name's Jesse!"

I outstretch my own hand and for a few seconds we stand there holding each other's hand and staring into each other's eyes. Now I just háve to get into Dual Academy, knowing he will be here too. Our special moment of banal acquaintance gets cut short when Jesse gets a phone call from his brother saying they have to go back home.

"We should be going back home too, Jay." Blair says when Jesse hangs up his phone.

"Yea, it's getting quite late. Well, it was a pleasure meeting you Jesse!" I look him in the eyes and make a small nod and smile in attempt to flirt with him.

He smiles, "I will definitely see you again next year, Jaden. You too Blair, take care. Bye!"

He makes an adorable motion with his hand which seems to be Jesse's personal way to waving goodbye. And just like that he walks down the stairs and all I can think of is if I will actually see him again in the future.

Me and Blair head back home, get on the bus at 9:36 pm and arrive at the bus station at 10:12 pm.

"It would be a shame if you never got to see that cute guy again, no?" Blair says.

"I know right! He was just so gorgeous!" I reply, still in a state of sheer mesmerization.

"I do hope you realise how much work you'll have though, you heard that Crowler guy, it won't be easy."

"I know Blair, but I'm not going to call off the Celebration, nor my weekly practice with Luana. I can't afford to drop my classmates like that just a few days before the big day."

"Jaden, I don't like to repeat myself but you are putting way too much effort into this celebration and I fear you're neglecting the entrance exams!"

"Well, for once in my life I'm being accepted and being useful for my classmates so I don't want to let them down the one night they need me most Blair! You know how I feel about this."

"I never said you have to let them down Jaden but all of your time is going into people who don't even respect you or care about you!"

"And how would you know if they respect me or not? I'm pretty sure they have all come to their senses and finally realise what a great guy I am!"

"Jaden they're using you! They are plainly abusing your talent for their own selfish goals and after the Celebration everything will go back to how it all was last semester!"

"Can't you just be supportive?! Can't you just be happy for me that I'm finally able to live through high school and that for once in my life I feel like I'm a part of something bigger, of something important?"

"Jaden, I would be happy for you but I know these people will let you down once the Celebration is over so just don't get your hopes up and don't forget to practice daily for DA!"

"Drop the exams for a few minutes Blair! And you seem to think you know my classmates better than me." I'm starting to get confused by Blair's omniscience.

"I don't think so Jaden, I do..." she says in a very sad tone

"Would you be so kind as to inform me on how you do so?"

"Well, don't hate me Jaden, but, I'm dating Syrus Truesdale and.."

"WHAT?! Are you serious? How can you do…"

Blair interrupts me, "Let me finish Jaden! I have been dating Sy for a few months now and he tells me stuff about you and his other classmates because I haven't told him you and I are close friends."

"YOU are Syrus's girlfriend?! And you just now decided to tell me? Just to make me realise how everyone still hates me? And how everyone uses me? Wow, what a great friend you are Blair.."

"You're getting me wrong Jaden! I'm not doing this to hurt you! At all!"

"Well that plan failed miserably then."

I have to fight hard to hold back my tears, I feel betrayed. Can't I trust anyone?

"Jaden.. I'm doing this to help you! I want you to realise what your real priorities are and who your real friends are!" she grabs my hands.

"Well, no matter what you say, I can't just quit now. That'll make everything even worse."

"I didn't say you have to quit Jaden but, once again, don't forget the time and dedication DA requires. Only practicing for a month won't portray you as one of the best Jaden.."

She never seems to drop the subject of DA and their entrance exams, I'm partly starting to lose all interest in it just because of Blair and her constant pressure. Right now I'm more focused on the knife in my back than on the lacklustre amount of time I have put into my solo performance. I loosen my hands from hers and turn my back to her.

"I can't believe you are Syrus' girlfriend. I can nót believe the only friend I have is dating the one person who backstabbed me after I had put all of my trust in him. And the worst part is that you knew all of this. You've known how everyone talks about me behind my back and instead of telling me immediately you decided to wait until now.. I guess you and Syrus are a fitting couple. Now you can talk about how you both let me down and how everyone else is going to do the exact same thing once they've benefitted from me. Thanks, Blair, thanks a lot. Goodnight."

"No, Jaden, I.." I can hear Blair is fighting back tears as well.

I walk away from her.

I can't believe she has been keeping this silent for so long.

Just when I thought I had found my salvation and this new year might had actually meant a new me I was crushed, yet again. Trusting someone is something I will not take lightly starting from today. I guess all I can do now is keep on training for the Celebration, enjoying the time I have with my classmates now. And if the end of the Celebration means the end of my friendship with my classmates then so be it. I will enjoy the time I have with them now, and maybe Syrus lied to Blair about what others said about me. So unless they tell me they don't care about me themselves, I won't let them down nor believe what Blair told me!

Once again I walk a road of perseverence through high school and for some reason I don't mind all that much. Instead of putting the abundant negativity on the foreground I am going to enjoy the sheer positive vibes in my life for once. Right now the sun is going down leaving nothing but darkness but I'm convinced that when I reach the end of the road the horizon will be enveiled in a well-deserved prodigious light.


End file.
